We went to the supermarket to buy salami today. And the only thing I could think of was having the cured sausage, fermented, and air-dried meat watering in my mouth. But that didn’t happen; THEY RAN OUT OF SALAMI. Good grief, I was heartbroken!! YES, over salami. OR maybe, not salami but at the thought of expecting something and not having it in return.
Are you expecting too much?
We all expect too much whether we notice it or not. Before my grandpa died, his health has been deteriorating drastically. All the signs were there, people said he wasn’t looking good, family watched but did nothing or maybe was in denial, I was abroad unaware of how bad things were (partly to blame), things went from bad to worse in a few months. Since he was in his late sixties, I expected him to be around (for a very long time); we spoke about my wedding, kids, the future. He saw my graduation pictures teary eyed. My grandpa loved me and I loved him back a million times more. I expected too much from him and from everyone around him. I expected him to eat his meals on time, not miss taking medications, and to be happy. I can imagine, he must have expected me to call more often too. But me, being busy with my senior year, I didn’t call as much as I should have. After graduation, all I had left with him were five days. And then, he was gone…
I’m not saying you shouldn’t expect. You should, but not from others, only yourself. The most pathetic people in my eyes are those in a bad situation expecting others to help out, while they themselves aren’t willing to pick up the pieces. Are you one of those people? I know I am not. The one thing I love about myself is the fact that I work so hard in solving my own problems. Yes, I ask for help, but only when I have tried everything in my power to make something work. You should expect a whole a lot from yourself. That is the only way you will get somewhere in your life. You want something, go get it. You hate something, change it. You are in a shit situation, get out of it. You can do so much, if you have the right mindset.
Law of Attraction
You attract what you think about most. Bullshit?!? [Not really]. We think about many things. I think about getting a full-time job, maintaining a particular lifestyle, getting regular writing gigs, being a better programmer, etc. Why isn’t anything happening? I thought to myself. The truth is, things have been happening, the past few months were better than okay, my life wasn’t that much of a mess. But of course, I didn’t see that. I took everything for granted. I didn’t see that my thoughts were turning into opportunities. Actually, I didn’t see anything at all. So grieved by disappointment, I couldn’t see past my computer screen.
From experience I tell you this: the law of attraction, it works and it works well but not necessarily when you want it to work. Opportunities have a strange way of aligning themselves into your life. You think something one time, and think something completely out-of-this world crazy another time. You meet people, they change your mind. You read stuff that get you thinking. You want things that you don’t even want but only want because someone else has it. You say you want to be happy but can’t seem to be grateful for what is actually working out. Cut the crap please, you are exactly where you are meant to be. Be patient and have faith, if you do, trust me… you will come a long way.
Trust the System
You planted seeds, they will grow. You did the work, you will see the results. No, it doesn’t work that way exactly. After having filled up more than 100 job applications, I know the system is [flawed]. Where the hell are my trees? I planted lots of seeds, haven’t I? Believe me you, my trees they are there. I am present in this very moment, I just haven’t been discovered yet. And, while I work on getting found, I’ll put my chin up and work at it; fill up more job applications, approach more people, listen to more stories, and go all the way until when I’ll be too hard to miss.